Welcome To

Culhane University - Los Angeles

Congratulations! It is with great pleasure that I offer you admission to the Culhane University Class of 2026.Your thoughtful application and remarkable accomplishments convinced us that you have the intellectual energy, imagination and talent to flourish at Culhane. Among the over 20,000 applications we read, your distinguished record of academic excellence and personal achievement stood out. We are thrilled to welcome you to the Culhane community and look forward to the unique and extraordinary contributions we know you will make to the intellectual and extracurricular life of our campus.The exciting next step is now yours. As Culhane is probably only one of several options you will consider in the coming weeks, I hope you will use the time to learn more about us. We invite you to participate in Admit Weekend 2025, a three-day program that will introduce you to the intellectual vibrancy and dynamic campus life that define Culhane. Information about that event is enclosed. Whatever decision you make, we ask that you complete the enclosed enrollment response card and return it to us by the postmark deadline of May 2, 2025. Should you decide to matriculate at Culhane — and we sincerely hope you do — we will send enrollment information to you in late May.Once again, I extend my congratulations on your admission to Culhane and welcome you to the Culhane family.Sincerely,
Joseph Hardin
Director of Admission

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The map and layout were loosely inspired by Io's SUCC website, but were completely coded by moi!

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The Asshats

The Asshats were formed by Hilterman brothers, Jared and Parker—as well as Parker's best friend, Rocco Mortis. The band quickly rose to fame under the management of former CULA alumni, Travis Carter.Many controversies arose circling Jared Hilterman and America's Sweetheart, Jasmin Mathis ("Jazzy"), including the end of their two year long relationship after a cheating scandal on Jared's end. Just one year passed before Parker Hilterman left the band and Jared was subsequently kicked out of it, and while there have been rumors as to why, the band hasn't come forward about the reason.Jared and Parker Hilterman have been replaced by current CULA students, Ryo Daehyun and Zachary "Zac" Morgan respectively.

Immersive playlist

want to suggest songs to be added → join our discord!

Album cover

The Asshats

Immersive Playlist

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${(pos+1)}
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The student council works very hard to keep up the university's appearances by handling fundraisers, hosting charity events, and acting as a bridge between the administration and the student body. They replace the need for a guidance counselor to allow for the university to invest funds into legitimate psychiatrists to work on campus.Each role in the council serves a specific purpose. Feel free to read the following to fully understand!

President → The president is the face of the student body. They are the direct voice to the administration from the student body and other council members.

Vice President → The vice president fills in for the president when they are otherwise unavailable. The vice president is also in charge of the rest of the council members, and is there to break tie votes.

Secretary → The secretary takes meeting minutes, handles correspondence, and tracks council documents (business management major is required).

Treasurer → The treasurer is in charge of the financial statements from community events (finance major required).

Class Representatives → There are two per class (freshman, sophomore, junior, senior) who act as the voice for their grade-level. They are overseen by the vice president.

Club Leaders → Each legal club has one student leader and a professor to vouch for the club's legitimacy. The leaders of the clubs work between the student council to coordinate events.

Student Advisors → Seniors with a human services degree (or working towards one) who are hired by the headmaster to work with other students, taking up tasks that guidance counselors normally would.

Carmen Lewis

Carmen Lewis

"Always fucking up the school's rep, huh?"

wild card x clean up, enemies → lovers

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Carmen Lewis

student council president

Student Photo

Personal Info

Ethnicity: N/A (American nationality)
Age: 22
Height: 6'0"
Weight: 178lbs
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Grey

Academic Info

Major: Real Estate
Minor: Economics
Year: Senior
GPA: 3.6
Status: Active

Biography

Carmen was raised with a silver spoon in one hand and a leash in the other. His life is a web of impossible expectations and overwhelming legacies with his father's international real estate business and his mother's authoritarian style of parenting.

When he was fifteen, he got into his first relationship with another girl named Leona. However, because of his mother's no dating rule (claiming that dating would ruin his academic career and prove to be a distraction from his perfect life), they had to remain a secret—and they did for a year. They were outed by paparazzi who'd seen him kissing her cheek in her back yard and published the pictures.

As a result, his mother erased Leona's family from LA's tight-knit high society and made it impossible for Leona and her parents to maintain security there through awful rumors and a well-placed smear campaign on Leona, herself. Carmen received word that Leona had killed herself right before graduation from the harassment that followed.

He stayed within the perfectly drawn line his mother made for him ever since, remaining at the top of his classes until college when he made up for it by becoming student council president.

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We have a detailed public record for our students to promote socialization within our halls. No student should be without friends, and all of our students may weigh in on what about them is made public. For further inquiries, please contact Headmaster Figgins.

Brian Norman

Brian Norman

"I'm here for you, sweet girl."

familial death comfort

Drake Calloway

"Yeah, nobody deserves that. Not even you."

cheating comfort/academic rivals to lovers

Archer Abbot

Archer Abbot

"You shouldn't be here, sunshine."

punk x good girl

Wayne Lynch

Wayne Lynch

"You mad at me, baby?"

rich girl x poor boy

Myles Anderson

Myles Anderson

"You know I love you, baby."

avoidant boyfriend

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Some of our students are listed with their corresponding club. Read up on them with the carousel below!

Sigma Nu Mu (ΣΝΜ)

Culhane University's largest, most popular frat.

Student Leaders

Culhane University's top role models, always happy to help!

The Asshats

An emo punk band formed right out of Culhane University's own music academy!

High1x

An alternative band with inspirations from rap and r&b, formed in the high society of Culhane University.

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Myles Anderson

avoidant boyfriend

Student Photo

Personal Info

Ethnicity: Unknown (American nationality)
Age: 23
Height: 6'2"
Weight: 188lbs
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Brown

Academic Info

Major: Communications
Minor: Film Studies
Year: Senior
GPA: 3.4
Status: Active

Biography

Myles was born and raised in a dysfunctional family with constant toxicity in the house. His father was a serial cheater who would leave for days at a time while his mother took out her frustrations about it on Myles and his older brother, Landon. Financially, they were comfortable due to his father's job, but they never knew a day of peace until Landon moved out.

Myles was fifteen when Landon left home and talked his mother into letting him take his younger brother with him. Their mother, Sheila, agreed as long as they never reached out to her again.

Landon tried to be a constant rock for Myles, to make up for all of the damage their mother did while he paid for his tuition at CULA through less conventional means. It wasn't enough to create a healthy life for Myles, though, and it had been too late because he turned to looking for validation from his peers, doing anything and pushing anyone away regardless of who it hurt.

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Brian Norman

underground fighter

Student Photo

Personal Info

Ethnicity: Salvadoran (American nationality)
Age: 27
Height: 6'4"
Weight: 198lbs
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Brown

Academic Info

Major: Veterinary Research
Minor: Psychology
Year: Senior
GPA: 3.8
Status: Active

Biography

Brian was born to a U.S. Citizen and a Salvadoran immigrant. The two married so his mother could stay in the United States and everything was great until it wasn’t. His paternal grandparents died in a freak accident, causing his father to become cold, detached, and downright abusive.

By the time Brian was thirteen, his father had beaten him into the hospital over fifteen times. The abuse ended with his father’s death following a heroin overdose when he was fourteen, leaving Brian and his mother to struggle for money and comfort while his mother was trying to get over the death of her husband—accidentally neglecting Brian as a result.

As a last ditch effort to keep his mother off the streets, he helped a local gang with drug runs and collecting “debts”. He quit gang life when he turned eighteen because he had been shot in the shoulder and—despite refusing to talk to cops about the injury—was accepted into Culhane University—Los Angeles for veterinary research.

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Drake Calloway

campus dirtbag

Student Photo

Personal Info

Ethnicity: German (American nationality)
Age: 23
Height: 6'3"
Weight: 170lbs
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Blue

Academic Info

Major: Art History
Minor: Digital Media & Design
Year: Senior
GPA: 3.9
Status: Active

Biography

Drake was born to Peter and Liliana Calloway alongside his four siblings—one younger sister and three older brothers.

He was never his father's favorite and was often overlooked due to his younger sister's favoritism and his older brothers' achievements. His mother noticed when he was very young how much Peter seemed to hate Drake and tried her hardest to overshadow his neglect with her love.

When Drake was thirteen, he and Liliana were in a devastating car accident that left Liliana paralyzed from the waist down and Drake with various scars on his back and waist. His father often blamed him for the accident, believing that if Drake had never been born, the accident would never've happened.

If not for Liliana, Drake would've been disowned and cut off.

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Background Image
Laboratories
Labs for science, tech, and engineering-based studies.
Lecture Halls
Large classrooms for general studies.
Studios
Classrooms for art, music, photography, and acting-based studies.
Auditorium
Used for graduation, awards shows, and theatre shows. It may also be used for concerts of bands formed in CULA.
Campus Store
Accessible only with a Student ID card/number, contains snacks, toiletries, and other necessities.
Culhane's Beehive
Residential and office area. The two buildings in the back are typically where freshmen reside, while the larger building houses the faculty offices, the cafeteria, and the library.
Gymnasium
Used for some pep rallies, indoor practices, and Basketball games.
What's this way?
Behind the freshman residential and office buildings of CULA is the track field (which triples as a soccer and baseball field), ice rink, football stadium, and the quad where students congregate.
What's this way?
More student housing, including Greek Row. This is a large neighborhood of condos, apartments, two community centers, and a community pool.
What's this way?
More buildings for lecture halls and laboratories.

CULA uniforms

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Student leaders are upperclassmen who are given the responsibility of aiding other students (most notably, underclassmen) when it comes to settling in and a vast majority of conflicts between other students and the administration.

They consist of resident advisors, the student body counsel, and community assistants.

Student leader uniforms are worn every day for the first month of each new semester to allow for freshmen to get acquainted with them.

Other uniforms are worn during sporting events, pep rallies, and (occasionally) fundraisers.